Resigned to reactions.........

When I decided to resign from the company where I had spent the last twelve years of my life, I did not anticipate that a decision that look rather commonplace would evoke a range of reactions......and, in fact it got me thinking of "ME" and my decision in a new light.

The overwhelming response to my decision, to my surprise, was of course, relief!!! Many of my colleagues in the firm were happy to see the beginning of the end of what was considered an unbreakable relationship. A few of them actually kept asking me, repeatedly, if it was for real and if I would stick firmly to my decision. And, in doing so, they made sure that I was unwavering in my resolve to break the tie.

There were many who were shocked. These were people who had strongly associated me with the firm and I was considered an inseparable part of the organization. I was variously referred to as antique, fixed asset, dinosaur, etc at various points of time and in their minds my identity was intertwined with that of the organization. That I could take such a decision was an impossibility for them.

There were others who were ready with opinions, suggestions, recommendations and views on what I needed to do next. Start off on your own, give up corporate life for good, go on a vacation, partner for a new venture, work for a non profit, blah blah......I was in no mood for any advice and nodded my head to all that was being suggested......

My parents had been hearing of the recession for the last several months and had come across many people who had left their jobs (taken a break!) and were cooling their heels. A few of their friends had children who were suddenly relocating to India.......and this trend was regarded suspiciously in their circle. First and foremost, my parents wanted to make sure that the decision to leave the firm was mine rather than that of my firm. Having convinced themselves of the true reason for the separation, they were worried if I would find another job in a market that was characterized by dwindling job opportunities......

My husband was ambivalent about my decision to part ways with my employer. While encouraging me to take a decision based on "merits of the case" and not get swayed by emotions, he has been flitting about in the background while I try to figure out my future.

My son is not one to show too much emotion or reaction. I cannot make out what he thinks of me and my decision and I think I am better off not delving too much into it!!!
 
My brother was only keen to know what my next port of call would be - would I look for an international posting, would there be travel, what would the pay be, would I have some awesome responsibilities....in that order!!! He seemed a bit in a hurry and completely oblivious to my need for a break!!!

My extended circle of relatives heaved a sigh of relief when they got news of my resignation. They said - it was high time - and wished I would concentrate my energies on running my home and caring for my husband and son, rather than spending time in airports, aeroplanes and foreign lands! One high flying cousin who heard of the decision rather late was aggrieved that I had beaten him to it - I have heard him talk of retirement since the time he finished management school!!!

Some of my dearest (and nearest!) friends were happy for me.....and possibly for themselves. They knew we could have more lunches together, get more cinema on working days and generally have a good time. And, the rest of them were plain angry - they asked why I was chucking it all away while the going was good.

My boss's reaction has been the most endearing. He still thinks it is a nightmare and that he will wake up to a happy ending. He firmly believes that I will return soon.......

My help at home made a face showing happiness and worry as I told him that I was jobless. I have been snooping around the kitchen and giving him grief. He does not fail to ask me everyday if I have found a job yet........

In the meanwhile, I enjoy my self imposed holiday hoping that I will discover a new ME!!!

Tinkling anklets

It has been a dream of mine - I longed to attend the Annual Dance Festival at the Music Academy in Chennai - for so many years. Work schedules and holiday plans always came in the way. This last season was when I was finally able to fulfill my wish - though I missed attending every single performance showcased at the festival. And, how much I enjoyed it! I got to see different artists perform - The Dhananjayans, Malavika Sarukkai, The Nrityagram Ensemble, Orissa Dance Academy led by Aruna Mohanty, Jayaprabha Menon, C V Chandrasekhar and Dominique Delorme. It was a wonderful week and here is my take on their performances. I missed Alarmel Valli, Darpana and Kalakshetra and also some of the up and coming artistes like Urmila Satyanarayana and Sheejith/ Parvathi Nambiar. I hope I can see them perform soon.

It seems like I am not to excited by traditional dance items. A nayika pining for a loved one is pretty stale for me. While I am open to seeing a fresh interpretation of a traditional piece, I feel that I enjoy artistes who take up new and contemporary themes for their shows. And it seems that there is a lot that is being explored by artistes, particularly the younger ones, these days. I also seem to relate better to such ideas rather than listen to the lament of a lovelorn damsel.

The other aspect of a live performance which to me has seen a significant change is the accompanying music. Artistes are increasingly using recorded music of very high quality for their shows. Besides the quality of singing at the dance recitals seems to have to improved dramatically and the singers are definitely adding to creating the appropriate mood and feel at a dance recital.

Shantha and V P Dhananjaya

Let me start with the Dhananjayans. I have had the privilege of being a student of theirs and have always admired them for their discipline and staunch adherence to methodology of dance as espoused by their alma mater, Kalakshetra. They performed a single item, the Nrityopaharam based on episodes from the Ramayana. A brilliant piece of choreography, it brought together nritta and abhinaya in combination. For a man born in 1939, rendering an item for the entire hour and 30 minutes without a break, was in itself a great achievement. And, the fact that he did justice to the composition was very evident. Shantha on her part is no young lady. She was as graceful and perfect as I remember her 30 years ago. To me they embody the idea of Ardhanareeshwara, maintaining their individual identities and yet complimenting each other.

Jayaprabha Menon

Jayaprabha Menon is a relatively recent convert to Mohiniattam. She started off as a student of Bharatanatyam and was drawn to the sensuous dance of Mohini after she watched Bharati Shivaji perform. In the past few years, she has concentrated on honing her skills in this dance form and she is considered a performer to watch out for. Her performance combined traditional and contemporary pieces from the dance's repertoire. One particularly noteworthy item which she presented was based on the story of Yashodhara, Sidhartha's wife, who laments her husband's decision to leave the palace and his family in search of enlightenment and calls herself the "Sidhartha" for having accepted her husband's decision to forsake his worldly responsibilities. I hope to see more of her in the future.

Malavika Sarukkai

Malavika Sarukkai never fails to impress me. She seems an embodiment of grace and finesse and her statuesque figure is very striking. Her performance was based on a very contemporary theme - terrorism and she juxtaposed the idea of sacred spaces (our temples) against the chaos and destruction that violence causes. All the items followed this central theme and the entire performance stood out as an artiste's call for lasting peace. That she is a story teller par excellence through her dance is a no brainer. She has the power to transport the audience to the world that she creates and I can vouch for this experience.

Surupa Sen and Bijayini Satpathy

Surupa and Bijayini are like two peas in a pod. When the Almighty created them, he created one in the image of the other. They are like God's chosen twins - ever synchronised and in complete harmony but without losing their own individual personality and talent. They are supremely blessed and I am sure Protima Bedi must be smiling at them. They presented traditional pieces, but their choreography and presentation came like a whiff of fresh air. There was something ethereal in their rendering of "Sridevi" and their presentation "Om Namah Shivayai, Om Namah Shivaya" was nothing short of divine. The fact that I had seen these presentations on an earlier occasion at Kalakshetra did not take away from my enjoying their performance and I am sure I will continue to follow them closely.

Aruna Mohanty

Aruna Mohanty is my find of the season. I have been so impressed by her and her dancing and researching her, she has led me to discover the Orissa Dance Academy. I first came across Aruna during a recent performance at Kalakshetra and she was mind blowing. I was surprised and ashamed not to have heard of her before. She has an expressive face, particularly her eyes and she managed to get me to experience her feelings, emotions and moods conveyed so eloquently through her dance. I loved the choreography in both items presented - Navarasa and Kripanidhaana - and the artistes from the Academy were outstanding. The highlight of the performance was the perfection in their execution. Again the evening had a contemporary and traditional piece but was stood out was the freshness in how they were presented. I will not miss an opportunity to see more of this group and Aruna in particular and I hope there will be more occasions soon.

I also attended two sessions featuring a Frenchman, Dominque Delorme and much acclaimed guru, C V Chandrasekhar. I do not have anything specific to say about their performances - that is not to belittle them but their performances did not move me at all.

Dominique Delorme

C V Chandrasekhar